Albir
April 25, 2016
Dear Michael,
I am elated that you have decided to elevate my standing to Messiah but unfortunately this creates a problem.
As you are not one of my regular readers you will not be aware that I have already been to Heaven (1994) , interviewed by no less than St Peter and St Thomas, turned down and repatriated to the Costa Blanca as unsuitable… a reject in fact.
As I am sure you know, The Messiah is scheduled to return to Earth sometime in the future, and I feel that cavorting back and forth might well be considered a bit ‘over the top’. I’m also a bit hesitant, having been ‘stoned’ a few times recently and I’m not over keen on being impaled on a cross again.
However I do apologise for appearing a bit harsh with my criticism of your efforts, particularly because in your way and in concert with your group you endeavour to do your best. Needless to say, please remember to inform your would-be writers that criticism is a backhanded form of praise and encouragement. In most instances it becomes a spur along the route to fluent writing, being recognised and publishing successfully.
Malcolm (hon Messiah) Smith
What a complete waste of column inches Malcolm Smith’s letter was. Surely, there are more important things going on in Spain or the wider world than Mr Smith’s ramblings?