The brilliant thing about double entendres is there’s always somebody willing to give you one. The other day I was gently stroking Mrs. Slocombe’s pussy when I got wind of news that seemed right up my alley.
Apparently, the makers of the Carry On comedy series have got their hands on something big and will soon be dangling it in front of us.
They are planning a cinematic comeback with two new movies, provisionally called Carry On Doctors and Carry On Campus.
I am hoping their saucy humour and cheeky one-liners will be just what matron ordered, a tonic to perk us up in these oft-troubled times.
However, the omens do not bode well. Many of the regulars who made the movies so watchable are no longer with us and the PC brigade will probably neuter the new batch faster than you can say “Infamy! Infamy! They’ve all got it in for me!”
And let’s not forget that the last film in the franchise, 1992’s crass and cringe-inducing Carry On Columbus was possibly the worst British movie ever.
The first of the reboot films is slated to be in cinemas in 2017, but I fear that none of today’s comedians or writers will be able to pull it off.
